i was looking at the wedding/engagement announcements on the clarionledger.com and it made me wonder - why? i would imagine most would say it's because they're in love and want to start a family.
but i was talking to a lady i work with yesterday - she is 40 something, divorced after almost 20 years of marriage and repeated infidelity on her ex-husband's part. they have been divorced for 5 years or so and she still hates him. i guess what i was thinking about is when you marry someone, you make yourself totally vulnerable to them. you open yourself up in such a way that your spouse can totally destroy you with a single sentence. the phrase "thin line between love and hate" really is true. because ultimately, you can't hate someone unless you have cared enough to really let them get to you. so why do people want to put themselves in that position? b/c no one thinks it will happen to them.
i have grown and changed ALOT in the last almost 2 years. i've thought about that a lot lately. i used to think that things were "meant to be" and let life happen to me. i thought, "well, if he wants to marry me, then it must be meant to be" (i am referring to my ex, not my current husband) and i don't know where i got that attitude but it is completely stupid to me now. whenever i find myself talking to someone new, oftentimes they ask "how did yall meet?" about me and bo. when they hear our rather unusual story, the usual reaction is "well, it must be meant to be!" except for one girl who said "that is sick!" - i still don't understand that one!
i just smile and say "yeah" or something, but i really don't agree with that at all.
and i will answer my own question (which was really meant to be rhetorical) - why did i marry bo? well, he introduced me to the church of Christ which i believe is the one, true church, without which i might never have been saved. (yes, that's what i believe - i know it sounds "cultish" but it absolutely isn't! i respect everyone's right to choose their own church but if you're curious about what we believe feel free to ask - i won't try to persuade you to change) second, he loves my daughter - it takes a lot for a man to be willing to love, provide for and raise a child that doesn't have his dna or his last name. you should see bo carrying around our camcorder at all of morgan's dance team performances - it's so cute! third, he has the same life dreams and goals that i have - to raise a family and to show our kids what marriage is supposed to look like and to spend eternity in heaven. fourth, he is very smart financially - is planning for our retirement and strives to keep us debt free. fifth, he expressed his desire to be, and is, the leader of our family. sixth, he not only respects, but embraces, my fear of flying (that was partially a joke, but it actually is true!) most importantly he loves and respects me. and he does little things daily to show me that.
i may very well be the luckiest girl in the whole world.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
why do people get married?
Posted by ashley at 9:35 PM
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i probably should add that i in no way intended to offend people who are members of denominational churches. i just believe what i believe, that's all. and ultimately, it doesn't matter what i believe about other's beliefs - it only matters what God thinks.
i do think the stance that Church of Christ holds is very narrow -- you don't offend me, though. it's just pretty small-minded of anyone to think they understand God enough to say that He only prefers one church, or to even decide "what God thinks", especially when scripture is clear that God saves who He will no matter where or who they are. and if someone is saved, then they are part of "God's church". but that's not why i wanted to respond. more on the marriage issue: i've been going through a Bible study of this amazing book called "Lies Women Believe". it's pretty challenging -- but it talks about lies women believe about marriage. and the first and foremost lie is "i have to have a husband to be happy." i think most women have been guilty of buying into that one. but unless the marriage is intended by God, it will be fruitless and miserable. of course, we can submit to Him and allow Him to work through even the worst relationships, but more often than not, that's not what happens and His wonderful design for marriage is thwarted (and i don't say that judgmentally because you know my husband has been divorced). it's so sad. i often wonder too why so many people are so deceived. but that's what Satan is all about -- taking something beautiful that God created and making it ugly, and if he can talk us into believing his lies, then that's what he'll do...
WHOOPS with the miniblog again. ugh. too many thoughts. sorry!
food for thought kt
Matthew 7:13-14 (Jesus speaking)
"enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it. for the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and few are those who find it."
and
Matthew 7:21
"not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who sent me."
our preacher actually used these scriptures yesterday in his sermon. i'm sure you've read them before - just thought i'd throw it out there.
Wonderful scriptures, and when taken in context, very applicable -- but not applicable to one denomination as a whole, moreso to the pharasitical Christian who believes his salvation is bought through works and piety. Truthfully, if we practiced as the first followers of Christ did, we'd all be Jewish followers of Christ.
One more for deep consideration:
"So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a guardian, for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise."
Galatians 3: 24-29
Not trying to argue -- just trying to consider the full breadth of the issue. That is why I so deeply appreciate expository preaching.
i've decided i'm just not good at putting what i think/feel into words...
guess i'll stick to cute pics of morgan!
Shoot. I think we had a good discussion. You're more than entitled to write what you think in your blog.
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